Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
