Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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