looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
