Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I pour the whiskey from now on
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
