So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
