Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My dad is sitting where you rode me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
