I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
