Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
