For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
