You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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