Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
