dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
