Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
