take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
