Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
