my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
