I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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