five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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