out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
