Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
