whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
