u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
