im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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