she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
