You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
