Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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