singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I want her autograph on my taint
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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