Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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