I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Found your dick twin last night
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
