he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
