he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
