$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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