That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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