i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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