If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
