Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
