i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
