i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize