I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
