so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
