He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize