My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
