having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
