): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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