Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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