Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
