That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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