Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
