ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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