just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
