Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize