The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
