Everything about him screamed your future.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
