I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
