Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize