I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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