Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
