The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
